Ok - I've been wracking my brain this morning, trying to come up with a topic for today's post that will be both entertaining & informative . . . and then it hit me. Not the idea - the smell.
Burned popcorn.
There are few odors more offensive in an office environment than the smell of burned popcorn. Oh, sure - you've got the occasional cloud of hairspray or hideous cologne from the idiot boss in the next cubicle, wafting its way through the department. Or the insidious "silent but deadly" scents that may sneak out of any given space. But even those dissipate within an hour or less.
But burned popcorn? Holy mother of pearl - that's a foul smell that not only permeates the air around you - for several hundred square feet - but also lies dormant within the microwave until the next user. Then you get to experience it all over again - sometimes as an after taste in your food, if you're the unfortunate next user.
Now - here comes the "informative" part . . .
Microwave popcorn is not a new invention (and in spite of his attempt to invent it on his own in the late 70's & thereby turning someone else's microwave into a flaming chunk of plastic in the process, no, my dad didn't invent it). Few people can remember when microwave popcorn didn't exist. I'll even go so far as to venture a guess that the majority of the people in my office have probably cooked microwave popcorn in their own homes - and that their inaugural foray into this cooking experience did NOT happen here at the office. Additionally, microwaves have come a long way since they were first invented. Most, if not all, now have a "popcorn" button on them, setting it to a pre-set time to produce the perfect bag of popped, fluffy goodness. Takes the guesswork right out of it.
People, please. I implore you. Read the bag! If you're still unsure of the "3 to 3-1/2 minute" time recommendation, remember this - less is more. Less time = more unburned popcorn. Which equals less "Eau de Charred Corn" aroma emanating through the building.
Personally, I think this should be added to the employee evaluation questionnaire before you're hired. "How long does it take to pop an average bag of microwave popcorn?" Or, "Do you now or have you ever had difficulty with cooking food in a microwave without burning it?" The incorrect answer to each of these questions should result in immediate disqualification of employment consideration.
After all - THINKING we work in hell is one thing. Actually SMELLING the proof doesn't help our daily denial.
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3 comments:
I also heard that the smell can be bad for you. I don't doubt it, anything that smells that damn bad cannot be healthy.
People always think the directions don't apply to them. "In my microwave at home it takes 5 minutes so that must be right..." Could you retaliate with, say, clams casino?
And don't forget that not only do you get the smell for hours but the yahoo who burned the popcorn in the first place isn't very likely to clean up the faux butter explosion left in their wake either. Ggrr
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